From Twitter 04-29-2011

• 00:13:06: RT @pattonoswalt: "Pillow" "coffee" "bathtub" "sex" -- 4 perfectly pleasant words that become horrible when the word "motel" precedes them.
  
• 00:19:30: Full gas tank, empty bladder (no connection between the two.) Time for bed.
  
• 14:13:13: Every radio site I vist seems to require installing a different app to stream broadcasts. Save me the labor and just bring me the baby!
  
• 14:14:21: My laptop is already slow enough (and probably has a virus or two) thanks to all the app downloads I've done over the past 7-8 years.
  
• 14:21:09: RT @meganamram Living well is the best revenge. Another good option: poop pot pie // with extra corn!
  
• 14:22:14: (Larry the Cable Guy voice) That ain't right. Lord, I apologize. Be with the starvin' pygmies in New Guinea. Amen.
  
• 15:21:15: The Toastmasters meeting ran long, so we didn't get to do my Table Topics. I signed up to do them next week.
  
• 15:40:09: I slightly twisted my ankle before the Toastmasters meeting. It felt fine for a couple hours, but it's hurting again. Resting it now.
  
• 19:00:59: Watching side-by-side footage of Charles/Di & William/Kate weddings. One has flower girl picking nose, other has flower girl covering ears.
  
• 19:53:25: RT @RedPleb: Why I'm not going to grad school: I just worked for 4 yrs to get a degree that didn't help get me a job. I won't make the s ...
  
• 22:35:41: This woman in the Budget car rental ad looks drunk. "Boy, am I glad I got the exshtra insurance *hic!*"
  
• 23:52:50: My dad reminded me of the RICE method of dealing with a twisted ankle (Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation.)
  
• 23:56:11: I don't have a bandage to compress with. I hope the ice pack is on tight enough for that. Elevating in bed w/ foot on stuffed tiger's back.
  

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From Twitter 04-28-2011

• 09:42:05: RT @ssteffesferri: petition @AllenWest @nicolesandler did not deserve to be arrested, shame on you. http://act.ly/3j7 RT to sign
  
• 11:09:24: I'm glad I shaved last night. As jittery as I am this morning, I don't think I'd want to risk handling a razor.
  
• 11:10:35: @WheelofFortune Weather forecast
  
• 13:44:49: RT @nicolesandler: Allen West is a Coward http://radioornot.com/site/?p=4658 (Today's show, in which I told the entire story!) Share lib ...
  
• 15:36:23: Wow. Could @NBC make it a bit MORE difficult to leave feedback at its website? I don't like having to jump thru hoops to leave a comment.
  
• 16:53:46: RT @GottaLaff: Kudos to @NicoleSandler for getting her Allen West/maced story out, and thank you Cenk #MSNBC . Great segment!!
  

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From Twitter 04-27-2011

• 09:36:19: RT @p2fan: Nicole Sandler Arrested At Allen West's Town Hall http://bit.ly/fmSu63
  
• 11:17:10: @WheelofFortune Gentle Evening Breeze
  
• 11:19:42: Hair weave theft caught on camera: http://www.krdo.com/video/27686872/index.html?source=CNN_VID (Courtesy @KRDONC13)
  
• 12:26:53: RT @anaperiodista: RT @nicolesandler: I'm out of jail after 17 hrs of incarceration for attempting to ask my congressman a question at a ...
  
• 14:01:16: RT @HalSparks: @nicolesandler way to be awesome :) #FreeNicole! // Co-signed!
  
• 14:21:00: @AllenWest And you will be removed from office. You deserve to be shot.
  
• 15:04:24: Going to check the mail. Hopefully the fresh air will help me be less anxious. I need something to save me soon.
  
• 15:28:30: @SexyLiberal I'd love the tour to visit Colorado. I'm in Colorado Springs, but I'd also be willing to drive to Denver or Boulder.
  
• 15:48:47: #bandsmissingaletter Dr. Dr
  
• 15:53:01: #bandsmissingaletter REO Peedwagon
  
• 16:23:08: Double dose o'Bernie! @senatorsanders appearing tonight on Rachel @Maddow Show, then 2 hours later on @TheDailyShow with Jon Stewart.
  
• 17:08:42: Trump says now the media can stop asking him questions about the Obama birth cert. issue. Maybe the media can stop airing his show, too.
  
• 17:51:16: @EnsignPaul @maddow @nicolesandler That's awesome. I'll be watching!
  
• 18:40:57: I'm sure I'm not the first to realize original birther queen Orly Taitz's first name looks like the Internet phrase "O RLY?"
  
• 18:53:17: #lastword They needed Ryan Stiles' Carol Channing voice to overdub Orly's ranting.
  
• 19:12:27: For #maddow viewers, @senatorsanders is scheduled to be on The Daily Show on Comedy Central later tonight.
  
• 19:57:25: @ClementineFFox QTPIFOX
  

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From Twitter 04-26-2011

• 15:37:02: RT @unkybunky: to honor #WIunion troll @ronnocomot we present The Bible on the Poor http://zompist.com/meetthepoor.html LET'S MAKE THIS ...
  
• 16:48:09: I won't find out for at least a few weeks about the Fort Carson job. As with my other rejections, they will be hiring weekend workers first.
  
• 16:51:26: I found another radio opening last night. I'll be sending a resume tomorrow morning (and contacting Voc Rehab about other openings.)
  
• 17:00:51: @MiltShook I would have loved to have HBO or Showtime pick up the series came true. AD & Larry Sanders are 2 of my favorite shows!
  
• 17:01:52: RT @ruffuswuff: Fingers pointing blame are fingers not being used to fix anything. - Ruffus
  
• 21:03:21: Not quite rejected, not quite hired (yet) http://j.mp/ii3et1
  

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From Twitter 04-25-2011

• 13:23:20: RT @davidsirota: A Tale of Two Cities: How Chicago & CO Springs are leading American cities to embrace the Municipal Dystopia Agenda htt ...
  
• 13:24:02: @WheelofFortune Sewing and gumball machine
  
• 13:48:27: #smh This woman on Twitter not only follows people she hates, but also took time out of the life she doesn't have to create a list for them.
  
• 15:20:08: @rtrunt Blogspot told me you blog was removed when I clicked on the link. I liked Late Night Liars and would have liked to see it succeed.
  
• 15:43:10: RT @daveweigel: Haley Barbour has just assured that he doesn't have to listen to Trump or talk to Piers Morgan. He's too smart to be pre ...
  
• 16:02:31: @WheelofFortune Diamondback Rattlesnake
  
• 16:20:09: RT @SarahKSilverman: Your kids won't turn left-handed if you teach them that some people are left-handed.
  #gayokay
  
• 16:39:01: Doing my laundry. I ran out of clean pants, and they're too dirty for "bachelor laundry" (spraying the least-funky pair with Febreeze.)
  
• 19:33:06: RT @garagemahal65: CNN sends 400 reporters to cover Royal Wedding. 50 sent to Japan. One sent to Madison to cover @wiunion protests.
  
• 19:43:01: Sadly, that sitcom is "All In The Family" after Mike & Gloria left. RT @RBReich The GOP is turning from a bad joke to a situation comedy.
  
• 20:53:34: I found a clean pair of pants earlier. They were tangled in the bed sheets I had pulled from the dryer. The rest of my pants are now clean.
  
• 22:14:47: RT @JobParty: RT @RepMcGovern: People's Budget: Cuts costs, grows jobs, eliminates deficit by 2021, w/o slashing vital social programs h ...
  
• 22:20:47: I'll be reading David Sedaris' "Nutcracker.com" story tonight in its memory. RT @cdespinosa Au revoir, typewriter: http://j.mp/fgyrAM
  

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From Twitter 04-24-2011

• 05:28:47: #nowplaying Roger Alan Wade - "B.B. Gun"
  
• 08:29:19: That's enough coffee for me. I hope this is the last weekend where I'm worried about full-time employment.
  
• 08:43:58: The Burgundy Loaf (Rudy Will Await Your Foundation!) RT @OMGFacts: Taiwan has a TOILET-themed restaurant! Pics ---> http://ow.ly/4yFGW
  
• 12:57:31: CBS affiliate @kktv11news keeps airing ad breaks in the middle of @CraigyFerg's segments. I'm available if you need a reliable board-op.
  
• 14:33:35: Lady Gaga's picture on the QuickTime/iTunes ad looks a lot like a white Grace Jones.
  
• 14:48:34: Looking forward to picking up my Easter "basket" (actually a plastic bag) on Tuesday.
  

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From Twitter 04-23-2011

• 10:25:13: RT @jimmycarr: Shakespeare goes into a pub. Barman says ‘Get out, you’re Bard.’ The old ones are the best and that’s got to be at least ...
  
• 19:29:44: I just have to be working on the night David Sedaris is doing a show in town! :-P
  
• 19:33:48: I need to dine at Jack Quinn's sometime next week. The gift certificate I have expires on the 30th.
  
• 20:33:20: It's snowing tonight, and rain/snow is in the forecast for the next few days. I guess the groundhog is getting rusty.
  
• 20:36:47: Antoine Dodson arrested for possession of marijuana. "Hide your lids, hide your pipe, and hide your roaches..."
  
• 22:57:18: Weekly calorie average: 1,898.7. Days above 2,000 calories: 2. I remembered to prop open my under-sink cabinets to prevent frozen pipes.
  

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